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Today is August 22 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you suffer from Destination Addiction?” People who navigate the chaos have the self-awareness to recognize when they start to suffer from what British psychologist, author, and broadcaster Robert Holden labeled “Destination Addiction: a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, the next house, and so on. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.” Such a concept appeared in Star Trek, season 2, episode 1, in 1968 when Leonard Nimoy’s character Spock says “After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical but is often true.” Today’s reflection differentiates the pursuit of a goal compared to the goal itself and allows us an opportunity to answer the question “what happens when we achieve our goal?” For those who navigate the chaos many will say their next step is to start pursuing their next dream. As mentioned throughout this Navigate the Chaos series, you should have as many dreams as you need two lifetimes to achieve; that way you will never be bored. Suffering from Destination Addiction means you are always seeking, finding, searching, and longing. This condition is also known as the “grass is always greener.” When we believe that obtaining something we do not have will be the secret to our happiness we need to stop and ask ourselves why that is. This wanting of something we do not yet have often shifts our focus from the present demonstrates a lack of self-awareness that in and of itself should be addressed. When you are present and have a strong sense of self-awareness you can then move forward and ‘give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else. As Holden noted “Destination Addiction is an attempt to get on with life faster in the hope that we will enjoy our lives better. And yet our constant speeding means we frequently run past golden opportunities for grace and betterment. We are so harassed by the insecurity of our forward-seeking ego that we have no idea what it means to live by the grace of God. We seek, but we do not find. If only we could stop a while and let wisdom and grace show us a better way.” Holden applies a quote from novelist Henry Miller to his explanation of Destination Addiction. According to Miller “One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.” Instead of viewing your path with a destination in mind, perhaps you could consider an endless path where your views change as you walk along. For Holden, people have the capacity to avoid suffering from Destination Addiction if they open themselves up to accepting grace and being receptive to inspiration. Holden noted “our Destination Addiction often works against us, however, because we are too busy running to be receptive. Hence, we always feel empty.” The nuance involved with today’s post is that some degree of obsession is necessary to translate one dream after another into reality. Those who suffer from Destination Addiction, however, take their obsession to a point of self-destruction. Thus, self-awareness is critical and why today’s post provides the following assessment. How often are you thinking about what comes next? If you constantly think about what comes next are you doing so at the expense of the present moment? If you are not present in the moment, do you ever wonder how that makes the people around you feel? How often do you hurry even when you do not need to do so? If you hurry do you ever ask yourself why you are always moving at such at fast pace Are you trying to catch up to someone? Have you convinced yourself you are ‘behind’ where you think you should be? How often do you promise yourself next year you will be less busy? Do you find yourself making promises to slow down once ‘XYZ’ happens? If so, you already have some degree of self-awareness helping you understand you are indeed suffering from Destination Addiction. What in the world is a dream job/home/life and how does one define it? Is your destination some dream job/home/life? If so, what does that even mean? Are you allowed to change your dreams throughout your life? Do you remain open to a job you never considered that might cross your path? If you pass that job up because you are waiting for your dream job to come along, how do you know that the one job might just be a better opportunity than you ever considered? How is Destination Addiction impacting your mental health, emotional health, physical health, and social life? Are you so focused on your destination that your health is suffering in one way or another? Do you even allow yourself to recognize how the stress of Destination Addiction might be causing more harm than good? Can you allow yourself to slow down and take better care of yourself while you continue to pursue one dream after another?

Today is August 21 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you work on your self-discipline?" Jocko Willink knows a thing or two about self-discipline. Willink spent 20 years in the U.S. military, retired as a U.S. Navy SEAL officer., and authored several books including the #1 New York Times bestseller Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win, Dichotomy of Leadership. Realizing the daily grind required to accomplish goals, translate dreams into reality, and make forward progress, Willink tell people “Don’t expect to be motivated every day to get out there and make things happen. You won’t be. Don’t count on motivation. Count on discipline.” Today’s reflection involves the realizations that being motivated is fine but ultimately, your self-discipline will help you navigate the chaos and practice the art of living well. Indian film actress Deepika Padukone relied on self-discipline to make the transition from badminton player to model to actress as she faced many obstacles along her path. In an interview about her life, career, and transition from one arena to another Padukone said: “Never lose focus of what you want for yourself. People will try and pull you down. There might be things in your life, which will deter your confidence. There might be days when you want to break down; there could be days when you feel like giving up. It’s extremely important to be emotionally strong and be focused. Do it your own way. And don’t be afraid of making mistakes.” When she mentioned “there might be days when you want to break down” Padukone echoed Willink’s sentiment “you will not be able to make things happen every day.” There are two essential elements to Padukone’s observation. First, to be emotionally strong and focused means to ignore those people who ‘will try and pull you down.’ American novelist and playwright James Baldwin acknowledge this need to emotionally strong and focused when dealing with others when he wrote “you’ve got to tell the world how to treat you [because] if the world tells you how you are going to be treated, you are in trouble.” Discipline, not motivation, will help you to remind yourself to tell the world how you want to be treated. The second essential element in Padukone’s observation is the acceptance of making mistakes. As discussed elsewhere in the Navigate the Chaos series, it is virtually impossible to navigate the chaos of life free of ever making a mistake. As you recover from a mistake recall the words of author Richard Back who wrote in The Bridge Across Forever: A True Love Story: “There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go.” Discipline, not motivation, will help you learn from your mistakes. In her August 03, 2018, blog post “Why Motivation is Crap & Discipline is Your Only Chance at Success,” entrepreneur Allison Wojtowecz stressed the role of self-discipline in helping people achieve their goals when she wrote: “These two words seem to be used interchangeably, especially in the health space. And when a coach preaches motivation, it instantly makes me believe them less. Why? Because they are COMPLETELY. DIFFERENT. THINGS. Motivation only exists as a noun. But discipline has a verb form. In other words, discipline is something you do, and choose to do; motivation is a thing that can come and go, which you cannot choose to do or control. Stop worrying about when motivation will leave you… because at some point, it will. Create discipline.” One exercise to do alongside today’s reflection is to create a phrase for each letter in the phrase ‘self-discipline.’ This task allows you the opportunity to reflect and answer the question “how do I define self-discipline?” There is no right or wrong here as this exercise will produce different results based on each person’s background, experience, and life situation. S tay focused on one task at a time. E xercise your body and mind each day. L ove yourself. F eel the emotions from the day. D ecide to grow through self-awareness. I nvite compassion for others into your heart. S pend time alone and in silence. C are for someone unable to do something for you. I nvest in your breath and remain calm. P ay attention to how you respond to stimulus. L ive with intention and self-control. I dentify your mistakes and still move forward. N otice motivation but rely on discipline. E ngage with those different than you. How often do you rely on motivation compared to self-discipline? Do you understand the difference between motivation and self-discipline? How do you define self-discipline? What have you done lately to improve your self-discipline?

Today is August 20 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you consider your legacy?” Entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk proclaimed “Legacy is currency. Do the work. Everyone wants to be successful, but nobody wants to do the work.” Those who leverage their mind, body, and spirit to navigate the chaos understand their legacy is also their greatest currency. Doing the work, day after day for an extended period of time allows us to carve our legacy into those around us as we navigate the chaos. Unfortunately, far too many people get too busy or competitive while navigating the chaos and therefore forget about their legacy. In his book When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough: The Search for a Life That Matters , best-selling author Harold Kushner tells the story of how he periodically encounters someone who lacks any sense of their legacy. As Kushner recalled “Some people find it hard to break the habit of competitiveness. They are not able to relax and chat with me. They feel they have to impress me by telling me how successful they are, by dropping the names of important people they know. I find myself wondering whether part of the price they have paid for their success is that they keep transforming friends into enemies.” While navigating the chaos it is certainly easy enough to get so competitive that you forget about the imprint you leave on others as well as your legacy if left unchecked. Swedish chemist Alfred Nobel was so competitive he become blinded to his legacy. Fortunately for Alfred, a publication mishap gave him a chance to fix his legacy before he died. As historian Oscar J. Falnes detailed the Nobel name was “associated with the arts of war.” Nobel’s father Immanuel was an engineer helped Russia build underwater mines during the Crimean War while Alfred earned his fortune developing new types of explosives. He created perhaps his most famous invention, dynamite, in 1867 which became widely used both in construction and in warfare. By the time he wrote his will, Nobel was hugely wealthy and owned nearly 100 factories that made explosives and munitions. Sadly, Alfred’s brother Ludvig died in France in 1888. Due to poor reporting, at least one French newspaper believed that it was Alfred who had perished, and it proceeded to write a scathing obituary that branded him a “merchant of death” who had grown rich by developing new ways to “mutilate and kill.” The error was later corrected, but not before Alfred had the unpleasant experience of reading his own death notice. The incident may have brought on a crisis of conscience and led him to reevaluate his career. As Kushner retells the story in his book “Alfred had the unique opportunity to read his own obituary in his lifetime and to see what he would be remembered for. He was shocked to think that this was what his life would up to, to be remembered as a merchant of death and destruction.” According to biographer Kenne Fant, Alfred “became so obsessed with his posthumous reputation that he rewrote his last will, bequeathing most of his fortune to a cause upon which no future obituary writer would be able to cast aspersions.” In a revised handwritten will containing less than 1,000 words, Alfred outlined a plan to devote the vast majority of his estate—worth around $265 million today—to a series of prizes for “those who, during the preceding year, shall have conferred the greatest benefit on mankind.” He initially listed five awards in his will (a sixth, for economics, was added in 1968). Three were for the greatest discoveries or inventions in the fields of physics, chemistry, and medicine, while a fourth was devoted to the author of the “most outstanding work” of literature. The fifth award was designated for “the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between the nations and the abolition or reduction of standing armies and the formation and spreading of peace congresses.” The organization the “dynamite king” willed into existence has since awarded more than 500 prizes to historical luminaries ranging from Albert Einstein and Marie Curie to Winston Churchill, Ernest Hemingway and Martin Luther King, Jr. To this day, the awards are still handed out every December 10—the anniversary of Alfred Nobel’s death. Competition is often involved with translating one dream after another into reality. Those who leverage their mind, body, and soul, however, leverage their self-awareness and engage in the self-love and self-care required to monitor just how destructive their competitive edge is. You can live a life where you ensure you have a positive legacy once you are gone and still pursue multiple dreams. Life each of the Navigate the Chaos posts, the choice is yours. How often do consider your legacy? What have you done lately to ensure your legacy? you know of anyone who lived the belief that ‘legacy is currency?’ How frequently do you stop and reflect upon the level and impact of your competitiveness? If you could read your own obituary today would you be proud of your legacy? What would you hope your obituary says about you?

Today is August 19 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you reflect upon what you need compared to what you want?” At the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris, Australian Jemima Montag, then 26 years of age, won bronze medals in the 20 km walk and the Marathon walk relay. In doing so, Montag became the first Australian woman in 52 years to win two medals in track and field at the same Olympic Games.  In an interview after one of her medal-winning performances, an interviewer spoke to Montag. The transcript of that exchange is below and forms the basis for today’s reflection.   Interviewer: “Jemima Montag, you are an Olympic bronze medalist. How does that sound?”   Montag: “That's crazy. I had a lot of belief. I had a good feeling this last week. I felt significantly more pressure this year because in Tokyo there were no spectators. Today there were about 30 family members in Team Gem t-shirts yelling my name. You want to do well for them because you know how excited they'll be. You want to show gratitude for the 15-year journey this has taken since Little Athletics, but it's a careful balance of wanting that medal but not needing it. It's really a nuanced difference—not needing it for your own self-worth or feeling that people love you, but wanting it, saying, ‘Yeah, I'm willing to give this a crack and be tough, and if it doesn't happen, the sun will rise tomorrow. But let's give it a go.’”   Interviewer: “There would be so many young girls watching you right now back in Australia, possibly igniting their Olympic dream. What is your message to those young girls?”   Montag: “’Play on’ is my message. I want them to know that this journey isn't without its challenges, particularly around the age of 16 and 17. I certainly questioned my place on the sporting field and whether I wanted to take it to this Olympic level. But the message is, it doesn't matter if you're doing sport for fun in your backyard with your girlfriends or whether you want to take it to this Olympic medalist level. Sport is about community, a sense of belonging, making friends, looking after our physical and mental health, and learning amazing life skills like dedication and leadership, which are all such great things for the next generation of women and girls. So, play on in your own way, whatever suits you, and yeah, we belong here.”  In the response to the first question, Montag highlighted three critical themes for anyone navigating the chaos of life, and in this case, working towards an Olympic medal. First, she balanced the pressure of performing in front of those who have supported her for 15 years with a strong sense of self-belief. Second, she talked about the ‘nuanced difference’ between wanting a medal but not needing it. Finally, she manages her expectations by admitting that the journey is tough and if the medal never happens, the world will continue on. In her response to the second question, Montag touched upon two additional themes. The first message focused on how sport is about community and a sense of belonging. Her other comment stressed how women and girls should have a sense of belonging, wherever they are.   In another moment during those same 2024 Summer Olympics, a group of women illustrated Montag’s beliefs about community and belonging. In a now iconic image, Brazilian gymnast Rebeca Andrade is standing on the podium with both fists in the air after winning the gold medal in the women's floor competition. Below her on either side are U.S. gymnasts Simone Biles and Jordan Chiles, the silver and bronze medalists, bowing at Andrade's feet. All three women, who also made up the first all-Black gymnastics podium in Olympics history, look as happy as can be.   Commenting on that historic moment, Biles said “I think it's all about sportsmanship, and we don't care whether we win or lose. We're always going to keep a good face and support our competitors because they've worked just as hard as we have for that moment ... and that's exactly what me and Jordan were doing. We were so happy for her. She deserved it, she had the best floor routine of the day, and of the Olympics, so it’s like, yeah, she deserved it.”   How often do you reflect upon what you need compared to what you want? When was the last time you reflected upon how you define wants and needs? Have you ever wanted something and did not get it? If so, what happened? Have your needs changed over time? Explain How often do you support your competitors or even celebrate them when they win? How much gratitude do you show towards those who have helped you along the way as you have navigated the chaos to go after what you have wanted? Have you helped anyone along their journey in going after something they wanted?

Today is August 18 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you bring small things together?” One common strategy many people who navigate the chaos use is to bring small things together one step at a time. Authors who write their first book do this. So too do artists who use paint, ceramics or any other medium. Additionally, athletes train daily for years to accomplish a goal. As discussed in another Navigate the Chaos post, since there is no such thing as an overnight success, bring small things together is often the result of years of hard work. Dutch Post-Impressionist painter Vincent van Gogh made such an observation in an October 1882 letter to his brother Theo: “For the great doesn’t happen through impulse alone and is a succession of little things that are brought together. What is drawing? How does one get there? It is working one’s way through an invisible iron wall that seems to stand between what one feels and what one can do. How can one get through that wall since hammering on it does not help at all? In my view, one must undermine the wall and grind through it slowly and patiently. And behold, how can one remain dedicated to such a task without allowing oneself to be lured from it or distracted, unless one reflects and organizes one’s life according to principles? And it is the same with other things as it is with artistic matters. And the great isn’t something accidental; it must be willed.” This ‘mosaic’ approach to life and observation from van Gogh offers several valuable points of reflection. First, greatness does not happen through impulse alone. The achievement of a goal, the accomplishment of a task, or the completion of a project is not done by some sudden stroke of fortune. One simply does not wake up one day and paint a great work of art, write a prize-winning book, or break a world record in some athletic competition. Second, if you are to achieve anything in this world you need to figure out a way to bring little things together. Just as one needs to walk many steps along the path of life, so too does one need to bring small things together in the pursuit of translating dreams into reality. Third, greatness happens by working your way through an invisible iron wall slowly and patiently. The daily grind, especially when you do not feel like doing something, is what separates those who navigate the chaos and those who fail to accomplish their goals. Patience is indeed a virtue and never is that truer than when applied to the work required to achieve greatness. Finally, one must rely on their will to remain dedicated to the task until all the small things are brought together, and greatness is achieved. To stay focused, undistracted, and dedicated to the end, that is what is necessary to bring all of the small things together in order to translate dreams into reality. To accomplish anything, one must see a daunting challenge as a series of small pieces. The phrase, “there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time,” oft attributed to Desmond Tutu, is synonymous with the mosaic approach to life. Such a strategy allows one to accomplish the impossible, the daunting, and the overwhelming by taking on just a little at a time. As Dr. Denise Fournier wrote in an April 24, 2018, Psychology Today article: “If you have ever wanted to accomplish something major, you know that getting started can be a bit of a challenge. Maybe you have some vague idea about what you want but no clue how to get it. Or perhaps you sit down to think about everything you must do and get completely intimidated, freezing up and feeling incapable of taking the first step. This is a common experience, and it is the reason so many people fall short of turning their dreams into reality. They try to eat the whole elephant in a single bite.” Recent research confirms the critical role small things can play. For example, in a May 31, 2022, New York Times article Holly Burns wrote “Anticipating a smattering of small, delightful experiences can be as enjoyable as looking forward to one big event, said Carrie L. Wyland, a social psychologist at Tulane University in New Orleans.” According to Wyland “At the end of every day, write down one thing you’re excited for tomorrow. Maybe it’s a new book or getting doughnuts or a package you’re expecting.” The accumulation of these mini-thrills, according to Burns, “means you’ll still reap the benefits of looking forward to something, even if it’s not a big-ticket reward, said Christian E. Waugh, a psychology professor at Wake Forest University who studies anticipation. Waugh noted “Plus, with the nearer stuff, there’s more of a sense it’s going to happen for sure. You’ve got more control over a small gathering this evening than a vacation in six months.” How often do you bring small things together? How often do you remind yourself to ‘greatness does not happen through impulse alone?’ How often do you remind yourself ‘to eat the elephant one bite at a time?’ How often have you worked your way through an invisible iron wall slowly and patiently? Have you encouraged anyone who was trying to translate their dreams into reality to bring small things together so they could progress forward?

Today is August 17 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you remind yourself love lost comes back in a different way?” Today’s reflection challenges us to think about how to move forward amidst the inevitable losses we will encounter throughout life. When actor Pierce Brosnan was in the early stages of his career, he lost his first wife Cassandra to ovarian cancer in 1991 and it nearly broke him. The night before his wife died, he said: "That was one of the longest nights of my life ever. There is an incredible cruelty in it all, losing a person you shared everything with. This is the first time in my life I’ve ever experienced bereavement, and it’s overwhelming.” It took a good deal of time but slowly he started to work his way back from the pain. Eventually, love came back in a different way when he met Keeley Smith and they married in 2001. Keeley’s love would be the source of strength Brosnan would need in 2013 when his daughter Charlotte died of the same disease that caused her mother’s death. A story related to Franz Kafka serves as an illustration of how powerful love coming back in a different way can be. Due to the complexities of the personalities involved, historians remain unsure as to the story’s authenticity. What historians can agree upon, however, is where it originated. The story originated with Kafka’s fiancé Dora Diamant who told it to the French critic and translator Marthe Robert, and, in a slightly different version, to Max Brod. There are different versions of the story but what follows is a common one. The story requires a bit of context. Kafka never married and was associated with many women throughout his life. Sadly, he was diagnosed with tuberculosis in August 1917 and spent the rest of life trying to manage the illness. During a vacation in July 1923 to Graal-Müritz on the Baltic Sea, Kafka met Dora Diamant, a 25-year-old kindergarten teacher from an orthodox Jewish family. Kafka, hoping to escape the influence of his family to concentrate on his writing, moved briefly to Berlin (September 1923-March 1924) and lived with Diamant. It is during this time in Berlin that the following story involving Kafka supposedly occurs. ----- “While out on a walk one day in Berlin, Kafka and Dora met a little girl in a park who was crying because she had lost her doll. Kafka told her not to worry since the doll was away on a trip and had sent him a letter. When the little girl asked suspiciously for the letter, he told her he didn't have it with him, but that if she returned the following day, he would bring it. The next day, when they had not yet found the doll, Kafka gave the girl a letter ‘written’ by the doll saying ‘please don't cry. I took a trip to see the world. I will write to you about my adventures.’ Kafka continued his visits to the park for the next three weeks thereafter and shared a new letter from the doll to the little girl. During their meetings, Kafka read the letters of the doll carefully written with adventures and conversations that the girl found adorable. Finally, Kafka brought back the doll (he bought one) that had returned to Berlin. ‘It doesn't look like my doll at all,’ said the girl. Kafka handed her another letter in which the doll wrote: "my travels have changed me." The little girl hugged the new doll and brought her home. A year later, in 1924, Kafka died at 40 years of age. Some years later, the now-adult girl found a letter inside the doll signed by Kafka that read ‘Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way.’” ----- In her November 21, 2016, Women's Health Magazine article “7 Young Widows Share How They Found Love Again” Carrie Murphy examined loss and love and believed grieving the loss of a partner does not actually mean one is not ready to date. In the article Murphy included research by Brandy Engler, Ph.D., Los Angeles-based psychologist who suggested "One never gets over major life losses—meaning you will always feel something. To me, this is beautiful and in no way means a widow shouldn't move on and form other bonds.” Over time, and through the grieving process, many women can honor their past relationship and actually “experience loss as a heart-opening experience: You learn to love deeper, savor what you have, and use any regret from the past relationship to learn.” As one of the widows interviewed noted: “My husband and I talked about how important it would be for each of us to find a new soul mate if something happened to one of us. He was killed while riding his bicycle shortly after our talk. I decided to date just a few months after my husband was killed, but it was too soon. Then, I met a widowed man whose wife's birthday was on the same day as my husband's death date. There were so many other amazing coincidences, and it was clear that we were meant to be together. We have a huge appreciation for love, relationships, and how short life is. It is important to take the chance to love again when you find a great partner because hearts can expand to love more than one great person." Leo Buscaglia, also known as Dr. Love, said “Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time. It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.” How often do you remind yourself that ‘death is a challenge that tells us not to waste time?’ How often do you remind yourself ‘love lost comes back in a different way?’ Have you experienced overwhelming loss? If so, how did you navigate the chaos of such a loss?

Today is August 16 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you realize bamboo is stronger than oak?” People who navigate the chaos and practice the art of living well understand the necessity in being flexible in matters both personal and professional. Throughout recorded history one strategy that has been echoed from one generation to the next centers around the concept that only the strong survive. One famous example of this stems from Charles Darwin who wrote in his 1871 book The Descent of Man “With savages, the weak in body or mind are soon eliminated; and those that survive commonly exhibit a vigorous state of health.” Decades later professor and author Leon C. Megginson noted “It is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.” Today’s reflection challenges us to pause for a moment in order to define vigorous, strong, or strength. A simple definition and approach to each word might miss the nuance associated with today’s question. While many people might conclude oak is far superior in strength than bamboo, just the opposite is true. Bamboo is one substance that has survived in changing environments over the centuries and remains a symbol of enduring strength. In his March 20, 2015, LinkedIn article “The Bamboo That Bends is Stronger Than the Oak That Resists,” Group President of Asia Pacific at Marriott International Craig S. Smith commented on the need to bend when he wrote: “Throughout my career I have had many changes to my roles and responsibilities. All come with a certain trepidation and nervousness. But, we have two choices: we can hide from the change or embrace it as an opportunity to continue to develop ourselves…As changes come in your career, continue to perform well in every role you earn. Be consistent and be willing to learn something new from each role. You’ll soon find yourself looking forward to the next change, as it will become one of your greatest teachers.” Dwayne Johnson epitomizes the bamboo approach to navigating the chaos of his career. Dwayne Douglas Johnson, also known by his ring name The Rock, is an American actor, producer and professional wrestler and has had to be flexible many times in his life to navigate the chaos. His path of navigating the chaos illustrates how being flexible like bamboo made him stronger than oak. Johnson graduated from Miami in 1995 with a Bachelor of General Studies degree in criminology and physiology but he was not quite ready to give up on his football dreams despite the lack of interest from the NFL. He ultimately joined the Calgary Stampede as a backup linebacker but was cut two months into the season. “The dreams I had, they’re dashed,” he revealed to The Hollywood Reporter. “There is no more football. My relationship was crushed. That was my absolute worst time.” At the time of being cut from the Stampede he was 24 and had to move back home with his parents. As a rambunctious teenager, Dwayne Johnson turned to the physicality of building up his body and ultimately football to overcome a rocky patch at home. Once again forced to sift through the rubble that was his life, it seemed only natural for him to look inward at what made him special, his wrestling pedigree. After years as a wrestler, he became a sought-after actor and movie star. As he said in an Instagram video “Sometimes the goal we’ve worked our ass off for years is never achieved. Playing professional football is the best thing that never happened to me. Have faith in the one thing that you wanted to happen is often the best thing that never happened. Have faith and keep plugging away.” His life exemplifies the Japanese proverb “the bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.” Some people may equate oak with strength and, therefore, the stronger one is the better. But herein lies the key to understanding how to use this strategy to navigate the chaos, you need to define strength. Engineers use tensile to determine the strength properties of material. Tensile strength is defined as the resistance offered by an object to breaking or splitting under tension. When this definition of strength is used, engineers have concluded that bamboo is stronger than steel. Steel has a tensile strength of 23,000 pounds per square inch. But bamboo surpasses steel with a noticeable lead at 28,000 pounds. So, yes, bamboo is indeed stronger than steel. The question is can you understand this definition of strength of are you stuck in an antiquated way of thinking? As you navigate the chaos today take time to formulate your definition of strength. Johnson is indeed strong physically; but like the bamboo his tensile strength is even stronger than his ability to life heavy weights. How do you define strength? Have there been times while navigating the chaos of life where you were an oak tree but, upon reflection, realize a bamboo approach might have yielded a better result? If you do not allow yourself to accept the realization of bamboo’s strength, why do you think that is? Why must you always be an oak tree thinking that is the definition of strength? How often do you remind yourself that the bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak tree that resists?

Today is August 15 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often are you working on being nobody but yourself?” German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche observed, “No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life.” While other Navigate the Chaos posts discuss the necessity of working with others, today’s post reminds us that the hardest work, the building of one’s life path or bridge, can only be done alone. Some people spend their entire life waiting for others to help them build their bridge. In May of 1996, months after receiving the Nobel Prize in Literature, 57-year-old Seamus Heaney took the podium before the graduating class at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and delivered what many believe to be one of the most extraordinary speeches. Commenting on the need for the graduates to be nobody but themselves Heaney declared: “Getting started, keeping going, getting started again — in art and in life, it seems to me this is the essential rhythm not only of achievement but of survival, the ground of convinced action, the basis of self-esteem and the guarantee of credibility in your lives, credibility to yourselves as well as to others…The true and durable path into and through experience involves being true to the actual givens of your lives. True to your own solitude, true to your own secret knowledge. Because oddly enough, it is that intimate, deeply personal knowledge that links us most vitally and keeps us most reliably connected to one another.” Poet Laura Riding made the following observation in a letter to an eight-year-old girl about being true to oneself: “A child should be allowed to take as long as she needs for knowing everything about herself, which is the same as learning to be herself. Even twenty-five years if necessary, or even forever. And it wouldn’t matter if doing things got delayed, because nothing is really important but being oneself.” For parents and teachers an extension of today’s question is then “how often are you allowing your child/student to be nobody but themself?” Do you allow your child/student time to learn about how they are? How are you fostering an exploration of the self for each child? E.E. Cummings, an artist who never cowered from being his unconventional self because, in the words of his most incisive and competent biographer, he “despised fear, and his life was lived in defiance of all who ruled by it.” In his article entitled “A Poet’s Advice to Students,” published in a small Michigan newspaper, Cummings radiated expansive wisdom on art, life, and the courage of being yourself: "A poet is somebody who feels, and who expresses his feeling through words. This may sound easy. It isn’t. A lot of people think or believe or know they feel-but that’s thinking or believing or knowing; not feeling. And poetry is feeling-not knowing or believing or thinking. Almost anybody can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself. To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else-means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. As for expressing nobody-but-yourself in words, that means working just a little harder than anybody who isn’t a poet can possibly imagine. Why? Because nothing is quite as easy as using words like somebody else. We all of us do exactly this nearly all of the time-and whenever we do it, we’re not poets. If, at the end of your first ten or fifteen years of fighting and working and feeling, you find you’ve written one line of one poem, you’ll be very lucky indeed. And so my advice to all young people who wish to become poets is: do something easy, like learning how to blow up the world-unless you’re not only willing, but glad, to feel and work and fight till you die. Does this sound dismal? It isn’t. It’s the most wonderful life on earth. Or so I feel.” In his letter Cummings proclaimed the difficulty of being one’s self “to be nobody but yourself means to fight the hardest battle.” If you want to navigate the chaos, translate your dreams into reality, and travel the path of life you are going to remain steadfast in your dedication to be nobody but yourself. How often have you thought about crossing the river of life on a bridge that only you can build? How do you envision building such a bridge? Do you really want to wait for someone else to help build your bridge so you can cross the river of life? Will you stop fighting to be yourself? Do you realize the world is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else? How often are you working on being nobody but yourself? Do you believe that nothing is more important than being true to yourself? How can you cross the river of life, to use Nietzsche’s phrase, if you are pretending to be someone you are not? How can you connect to others if you are unable, as Heaney noted, to be true to your own solitude?

Today is August 14 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you take action to make a difference?” As you work towards translating your dreams into reality, how often do you see opportunities where you could make a difference? Today’s reflections consist of two stories, one from Mexican folklore and the other from American natural science writer Loren Eiseley. In her book Turning to One Another , Margaret Wheatley retells the following short story that originated in Mexican folklore. ----- “A long time ago there was a great fire in the forests that covered the earth. People and animals started to run, trying to escape from the fire. An owl was running away also when he noticed a small bird running to the river, picking up small drops of water in his beak, then returning to the fire to throw that tiny bit of water on the flame. Owl approached the small bird and asked ‘What are you doing? What are you trying to do?’ After a brief pause the small bird answered: ‘I am doing the best I can with what I have.’ Risking his own life, the small bird demonstrated thoughtfulness in trying to extinguish the fire one beak of water at a time. With that the owl and other animals followed the small bird’s example. According to this legend the forests covering the earth were saved from a great fire by a small bird, an owl, and many other animals who got together to put out the fire.” ----- In this piece of Mexican folklore, we have a small bird setting the example for others by simply filling his beak up with water and dropping it over the fire. Doing this small task repeatedly was the only option available for the small bird. The small bird was not interested in what the other animals were doing. Are you so interested in what others are doing that you are unable to make a difference? Are you worried that your beak is too small to make a difference? Have you decided that your small amount of effort would fail to make a difference? ----- We see a similar theme in a well-known short story entitled “The Star Thrower” by Loren Eiseley. “Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up. As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean. He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?" The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean." "I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man. To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up, and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die." Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!" At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one.” ----- In this story we uncover several important themes for reflection. First, we have the young man performing the task of throwing the star fish in the water while no one is watching. Are you doing the best you can with what you have? Are you making a difference if no one is watching? Do you have to post every good deed you do on social media so people can tell you how wonderful you are? Does your need for recognition outweigh your need to make a difference without anyone knowing about it? Second, we have the scene of miles of beach but one determined young man to make a difference. Does the size of the beach deter you from making a difference? Why do you let the enormity of the scale prevent you from helping others? Third, we have the few star fish the young man can save. The young man understands his limitations and recognizes the difference he can make in the lives of those star fish he can save. Must you save the thousands of star fish across the entire beach, or can you find comfort knowing that you, like the small bird in the first story, did the best you could with what you had? It is interesting to note that both Wheatley and Eiseley navigated their chaos and had fascinating careers. Along the way they started to understand their unfolding potential of making a difference. Since 1966, Margaret Wheatley has worked globally in many different roles: a speaker, teacher, community worker, consultant, advisor, author, and leader. From these deep and varied experiences, she has developed the unshakable conviction that leaders must learn how to evoke people’s inherent generosity, creativity, and need for community. As Wheatley wrote on her website “When Turning to One Another was first published in 2002, I made a rash statement: “I believe we can change the world if we start listening to one another again.” I still believe this. I still believe that if we turn to one another, if we begin talking with each other – especially with those we call stranger or enemy – then this world can reverse its darkening direction and change for the good. And I know with all my heart that the only way the world will change is if many more of us step forward, let go of our judgments, become curious about each other, and take the risk to begin a conversation.” Much like Wheatley, Eiseley had a diverse career spanning four decades teaching, researching, and publishing academic articles. In addition to his scientific and academic work, Eiseley began in the mid-1940s to publish the essays which brought him to the attention of a wider audience. Commenting on Eiseley’s impact anthropologist Pat Shipman wrote: “the words that flowed from his pen ... the images and insights he revealed, the genius of the man as a writer, outweigh his social disability. The words were what kept him in various honored posts; the words were what caused the students to flock to his courses; the words were what earned him esteemed lectureships and prizes. His contemporaries failed to see the duality of the man, confusing the deep, wise voice of Eiseley's writings with his own personal voice. He was a natural fugitive, a fox at the wood's edge (in his own metaphor).” A few questions related to today’s reflection are: When facing a large problem (like the bird and the fire or the boy and the starfish) do you need to solve it completely or can be happy taking action to make a difference no matter how small? If you are not taking action to make a difference, why do you think that is? Do you have a duality? If so, how would you describe it? Are others aware of your duality? Do you believe we can change the world by listening to one another again? How often are you taking action to make a difference?

Today is August 13 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you step into the unknown with confidence?” People who navigate the chaos know that striding into the unknown with confidence is a necessity if they are to translate their dreams into reality. Today’s post reviews the extraordinary life of John Gilbert Winant, who many could label ‘the most famous New Hampshire politician you may never have heard of.’ Born in New York City, Winant attended St. Paul's School in Concord, New Hampshire. He would attend Princeton University, but his poor grades led him to leave without graduating. He would return to St. Paul’s to teach history until 1916 when won election to the New Hampshire House of Representatives in 1916. In 1917, he enlisted as a private in the United States Army Air Service, trained as a pilot, and commanded the 8th Aero Squadron (Observation) in France. At the time of his discharge two years later he had earned the rank of captain. Winant commanded an observation squadron that worked behind enemy lines. After returning to civilian life Winant married Constance Rivington Russell of Princeton on December 20, 1919. After the war, Winant came back to Concord, and in 1924, ran for Governor as a progressive Republican concerned about the working class. After a few years out of office, Winant regained the Governor’s seat just as the Great Depression was taking hold. His personal acts of charity throughout his life would become legend. Prior to leaving for the war his monthly milk bill was extremely high because he ensured less fortunate families received such an important staple. As Governor he walked into his office one day wet and cold from the snow. When asked what happened to his coat Winant responded “Well, I saw somebody on the way in today that needed it more, and I gave it to him.” In February 1941, President Franklin D. Roosevelt appointed Winant ambassador to Great Britain; a post he remained in until he resigned in March 1946. Upon landing at Bristol airport in England in March 1941, Winant announced, "I'm very glad to be here. There is no place I'd rather be at this time than in England." The remark heartened the country and British newspapers featured it dramatically on the front pages the next day. During the Battle of Britain, Winant walked the streets of London, ablaze from the aerial bombardments, aiding the injured amid the rubble of their homes and stores. His shy sincerity and quiet fearlessness endeared him to the British people, King George VI, and Prime Minister Winston Churchill and helped buoy the beleaguered nation. Throughout the war, Winant drove himself relentlessly, day and night. He was already utterly exhausted when Roosevelt's death in April 1945 robbed him of his close friend and mentor. He now reported to the new U.S. President Harry Truman, a man who neither knew Winant well nor appreciated the extent of his wartime efforts. Then, three months later, a landslide victory by the Labor Party swept Churchill out of office. Everywhere Winant turned, he saw the drama in which he had participated so significantly drawing to a close. In March 1946, President Truman appointed a new ambassador to London. Winant returned home. Back in New Hampshire, Winant's frustrations grew. He hoped to become secretary-general of the new United Nations organization, but such an offer never materialized. After three decades of public life, he had to accommodate himself to the quieter pace of a private citizen. He was in debt, under pressure to complete a series of books on his experiences, estranged from his socially ambitious wife, and distraught over his affair with Sarah Churchill who had declined his marriage proposal. Despite his many public achievements, a lifetime of care for others, and his great capacities for public service, Winant, as James O. Freedman observed “held no protection against the melancholia and hopelessness that ultimately overwhelmed him.” On November 3, 1947, the very day that his only book, Letter from Grosvenor Square , was published, he committed suicide at his home in Concord. His publisher had rushed a copy of the book to him, but Winant never saw it. Winant was buried at Blossom Hill cemetery in Concord; his wish to be buried in the St Paul's School's consecrated cemetery refused by the Episcopalian rector on the grounds that suicide was a sin. However, in the more secular culture of 1968, his casket was exhumed and reinterred at St Paul's. His epitaph was one of his most famous quotes from a 1946 speech: “Doing the day's work, day by day, doing a little, adding a little, broadening our bases wanting not only for ourselves but for others also, a fairer chance for all people everywhere. Forever moving forward, always remembering that it is the things of the spirit that in the end prevail. That caring counts and that where there is no vision the people perish. That hope and faith count and that without charity, there can be nothing good. That having dared to live dangerously, and in believing in the inherent goodness of man, we can stride forward into the unknown with growing confidence.” And herein lies the irony of navigating the chaos. Winant was a man of extraordinary achievement. His career from high school teacher to military hero, to Governor, and then Ambassador was remarkable. As one observer noted “by drawing upon an elevated spirit and an unswerving idealism, this quiet man from a small state contributed greatly to the nation's coral reef of character.” As with every single person mentioned in the Navigate the Chaos series, it is essential to remember their humanity. Winant figured out how to Navigate the Chaos of his professional life up until1946. With a broken heart, no clear next step, and a sense of despair, Winant was unable to, in his own words “stride forward into the unknown with confidence.” My wish is that you never stop striding forward in the unknown with confidence. Every day counts. Every day offers a chance to move forward. Every day, no matter how stormy the weather, how dark the night, or how shattered the heart, every day provides an opportunity to stride forward into the unknown with confidence. Trust that you can leverage your mind, body, and spirit to stride forward. How often are you helping to provide for a fairer chance for all people everywhere? Do you remind yourself that ‘it is the things of the spirit that in the end prevail?’ When is the last time you told yourself ‘that hope and faith count and that without charity, there can be nothing good?’ Do you believe in the inherent goodness of man? How often do you stride forward into the unknown with confidence?

Today is August 12 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often are you the master of your fate and captain of your soul?” Those who leverage their mind, body, and spirit to translate one dream after another understand almost anyone who has ever navigated the chaos travels a rugged path filled with obstacles and that is far from straight. Those who navigate the chaos have a strong belief they control their destiny and remain steadfast in their determination, unconquered by their adversaries, unsubdued by time, and invincible in spirit so they may serve as master of their fate and captain of their soul. The lines “master of your fate and captain of your soul” stem from the poem "Invictus" by the Victorian era English poet William Ernest Henley (1849–1903). It was written in 1875 and published in 1888 in his first volume of poems, Book of Verses . Originally, the poem was published with no title. The poem was reprinted in nineteenth-century newspapers under a variety of titles, including "Myself", "Song of a Strong Soul", "Urbs Fortitudinis", and "De Profundis" among other titles. The established title "Invictus", Latin for "unconquered” was added by editor Arthur Quiller-Couch when the poem was included in The Oxford Book of English Verse (1900). Here is the full text of the poem: Out of the night that covers me Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. Henley penned the poem to record his own path of navigating his chaos. When Henley was 16 years old, his left leg required amputation due to complications arising from tuberculosis. In the early 1870s, after seeking treatment for problems with his other leg, he was told that it would require a similar procedure. In August 1873 he chose instead to travel to Edinburgh to enlist the services of the distinguished English surgeon Joseph Lister. After multiple surgeries, Lister was able to save Henley's right leg. While recovering in the infirmary, he was moved to write the verses that became "Invictus". In the first stanza Henley begins the poem with darkness, a common symbol of hopelessness where the soul is lost or the mind depressed. During this state one is unable to focus on anything but the pain. Anyone trying to translate their dreams into reality knows this feeling of darkness. In the third and fourth lines, however, Henley shifts from a negative tone into the positive, a technique he uses throughout his poem. Lines three and four give thanks and declare an ‘unconquerable soul.’ In the second stanza Henley continues to employ the pendulum swing from negative to positive. He admits to some ‘circumstance,’ or terrible predicament, yet never ‘winced or cried’ about it. Amidst the chaos and bloody head, he never bowed. In the third stanza Henley refers to the years involved with his ordeal. He admits to the ‘tears and horror of the shade’ but remains ‘unafraid.’ Henley remains unafraid because he manifests a strong belief of controlling his destiny. Despite the years of suffering, he remains steadfast in his determination. In the fourth and final stanza Henley proclaims that, no matter what you have been through, you can overcome dark times by reminding yourself how much control you have despite the darkness. Henley navigated his chaos by remaining master of his fate and captain of his soul, and in so doing penned one of the greatest sources of inspiration used by so many in search of light in their own darkness. How often do you remind yourself you have an unconquerable soul? How often are you the master of your fate and captain of your soul? How often have you winced or cried aloud due to circumstance? How often does your head get bloody when navigating the chaos? When your head is hurting, did you bow or raise it high? How strait has your path in life been? Has anyone in your life demonstrated that they were master of their fate and captain of their soul?

Today is August 11 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “how often do you rise to the occasion?” Actor Natalie Portman explained being part of the award winning 2010 film Black Swan helped her rise to the occasion of being an adult and explained she took the role because "I'm trying to find roles that demand more adulthood from me because you can get stuck in a very awful cute cycle as a woman in film, especially being such a small person." Dr. Abigail Brenner, author of several books including Transitions: How Women Embrace Change and Celebrate Life described a variety of elements involved with rising to the occasion. Each element offers additional reflection points for today’s question. First, Brenner wrote "Experiencing a little stress and anxiety now and then is a good thing, too. If all you ever do is strive to stay wrapped up in your little cocoon, keeping warm and cozy, you may be missing out on quite a lot---maybe no new experiences, no challenges, and no risks.” Second, Brenner emphasized the need to “look at the bigger picture of life, if you can’t step out of your comfort zone you may experience difficulty making change or transitioning, growing, and ultimately, transforming; in other words, all those things that define who you are and give your life personal meaning.” How often do you look at the bigger picture of life? How has your life benefited from transitioning, growing, or transforming yourself? Finally, Brenner observed what so many people who navigated the chaos have come to understand “Very simply, what we fear most about challenging ourselves is that we may fail and/or get hurt in the process. But truth be known, most of us have the ability to rise to the occasion, overcome hurdles and obstacles, and actually succeed in accomplishing something new and challenging." Betty Bender echoed similar sentiment and noted “anything I’ve done that was ultimately worthwhile initially scared me to death.” Now, does this mean you should pursue every task that scares you to death? Of course not. It does mean, however, that if the task is related to helping you translate your dream into reality, then yes, you should consider it. In "Rise Up: The Hidden Power of Your Phasic Strengths," a February 2017 article published in Psychology Today by Dr. Ryan M. Niemiec, a nuanced understanding is required of this strategy involved with navigating the chaos. Niemiec references the distinction made between character strengths that are tonic and those that are phasic. This distinction among strengths is a trait found in positive psychology. Unlike traditional psychology that focuses more on the causes and symptoms of mental illnesses and emotional disturbances, positive psychology emphasizes traits, thinking patterns, behaviors, and experiences that are forward-thinking and can help improve the quality of a person’s day-to-day life. These may include optimism, spirituality, hopefulness, happiness, creativity, perseverance, justice, and the practice of free will. It is an exploration of one’s strengths, rather than one’s weaknesses. The goal of positive psychology is not to replace those traditional forms of therapy that center on negative experiences, but instead to expand and give more balance to the therapeutic process. According to Niemiec, “Tonic strengths are those that we use consistently across contexts and situations. These have come to be better known as signature strengths – those strengths highest in our profile, most energizing to us, and most central to who we are.” Examples of tonic strengths include teamwork, hope, love, gratitude, perseverance, and zest. “Phasic strengths,” Niemiec argued, “have gotten lost in the shuffle. By definition, a phasic strength is a strength that rises, and falls, based on the situation we're in.” In essence, one rises up to the occasion, does what is necessary, and exhibits bravery amidst fear and danger. Saving someone from a car crash, defending a defenseless person, or speaking up against an injustice are typical examples of the phasic strength of bravery an individual can display at a time of crises or challenge. As Andrew McConnell of Forbes wrote: “Rising to the occasion can be fun for daydreaming, but in the real world it rarely plays out with a fairytale ending. We are all capable of so much more than we can ever imagine. To realize these capabilities, however, requires we put in the hard work and practice needed to stretch ourselves.” How often do you find yourself rising to the occasion? How often do you allow yourself to experience stress? Are you aware of your tonic and phasic strengths? Do you strive to stay wrapped up in your little cocoon? When is the last time you stretched yourself to rise to the occasion? Have you considered missed opportunities because you choose to remain in your comfort zone? Has the fear of getting hurt from rising to the occasion stopped you? How often do you remind yourself ‘you are capable of so much more than you could imagine?’ How often do you remind yourself that stretching yourself requires hard work and practice?